An Explicative and Definite Interview with Nigel
by Punto y Comma
Summary: All the truth about Numbuh One in this excellent interview!


**An Explicative and definite interview with Nigel Uno **

A lot has been said about this kid in this (two) years of Codename: Kids Next Door, but nobody explained something. "Look Ahead" Magazine, always ahead of everybody, do care about it (but with style!), so now is searching the most wanted truth, even most wanted than The Delightful Children From Down The Lane's Cake. The most controversial character of the group was ours biggest challenge, and we are not talking about Wallabee. Our photographer, Natalia, performed as a reporter for this interview, and will keep that job as long as our formerly reporter stays behind bars because of blackmailing a famous person. 

**Magazine:** ¡Hello, hello! One, two three, do you hear me?... ¡¡Ah, bite me!! We are in a beautiful apartment which has view to the beach, and must have cost a fortune (the apartment, not the beach!)... In a corner of the living-room, decorated with some last generation items that even I don't know what they are for, quiet, reading a comic, is the powerful Numbuh One! 

**Nigel:** Hi.  
  
M**:** Nigel, there're send thousands of letters to you from fans, and you are one of the most popular Kids Next Door. How do you explain that?  
  
**N:** Well, the Entertainment World is very strange. If Mick Jagger has crazy fans, I don't see why I can't have them. And besides, I always was the joy of the girl's parents.  
  
**M:** So, you have a very successful love life???  
  
**N:** I haven't say that...  
  
**M:** ???  
  
**N:** If you want to get a girl out of your life, ask her father to say: "Why aren't you the girlfriend of that pretty boy instead of that stupid football player?"  
  
**M: **Er... let the fans know something more about you. Let's start with your true age. In Kids Next Door, you have ten years...  
  
**N:** Yes, they reduced the age of people.  
  
**M:** How old are you?  
  
**N:** Fourteen...  
  
**M:** Ah, well, that awakes the maternal side of the fans! Your image of unprotected kid...  
  
**N:** They don't seem the 'protective type' of fans when they are running after you!  
  
**M:** They just loose control... You give that image, but is it true?  
  
**N:** Noooo, the true is that I am only 1.10 mts tall and I have only 100 kgs of muscles! Isn't it incredible what make-up can do?  
  
**M:** Well... er... Even though, the fans keep sending you letters.  
  
**N:** I'm very grateful of their love. I can't answer every letter... Sometimes I answer some. Actually, I've never answered one! But I read them with love... when I have time... which is never!  
  
**M:** You also receive presents, don't you? Some of them are very expensive. You have fans in all social classes.  
  
**N:** The material value isn't important, I know that every present is given from the heart.  
  
**M:** Even that one that Michael Jackson send y-  
  
**N:** I don't want to talk about it.  
  
**M:** Do you like his music?  
  
**N:** I don't want to talk about him!  
  
**M:** You two dated?  
  
**N:** I already said, that I don't want...  
  
**M:** Did he hold your hand?  
  
**N:** ¡¡¡Security!!!  
  
**M:** Is all right, Nigel, okay, we won't talk about it. But lets be honest...  
  
**N:** I don't like reporters.  
  
**M:** Not _so_ honest. Are you gay?  
  
**N:** How can I know? To make an option, a person needs to have any comparative point. Nobody asks me your dates, when I'm not shouting an scene I am memorizing the scrip, or is... hey! How do you ask me a question of that type, just like that?!  
  
**M:** You were distracted.  
  
**N:** Since when are you a reporter?  
  
**M:** What time is it?  
  
**N:** Security!!!  
  
**M:** No, it was a joke, a joke! I was only asking... Okay, we have some extra time. So, let's make a game!  
  
**N:** I don't think I want to...  
  
**M:** You answer as quickly as you can everything I ask you, okay?  
  
**N:** And if I don't want to talk about it?  
  
**M:** I'm going to start! Ready?  
  
**N:** No.  
  
**M:** A shampoo?  
  
**N:** Chlorophyll.  
  
**M:** A soap.  
  
**N:** One which isn't on the floor.  
  
**M:** A singer?  
  
**N:** I don't want to talk about...  
  
**M:** Sexual preference?  
  
**N:** ¡¡¡Security!!!  
  
**M:** I knew there was something! A magazine?  
  
**N:** Look behind you!  
  
**M:** The name is Look Ahead, you stup...

Our temporary reporter has temporary amnesia, thanks to the Security System that Attacks from Behind. More information when our editor escapes from prison, and our photographer is taken from hospital. Who said that this profession was easy?


End file.
